CRITIQUING MY VERY FIRST ADS: STARBUCKS

I found an old notebook from when I was 16 that includes some of the very first ads I ever came up with. Rather than burning the notebook so nobody finds out how bad they are, I'm making a series of posts where I set them free. Then, tear them to shreds with my words.

CONCEPT

Ok, so the idea here is that Starbucks coffee helps you get more stuff done if you get more caffeine/ a bigger drink. What drink? Any drink? So, if I get a Venti water, I'm going to get a ton of shit done without spending any money. Cool. Tomorrow, let's do a going-out-of-business ad for them too.

ART

I get that the three frames are scenarios and that you want the last frame to end with something extremely positive, but why the hell is the guy missing all together in the last frame? He could be done with work and left early, he could be dead, or he could be in the bathroom. He did have the Big Gulp of coffees. Starbucks — makes you pee and/or die at work. Boom.

COPY

That's what I like to see from a copywriter; no writing whatsoever. Would it kill ya to throw a headline or two? What are we paying you for?

Laugh at my other old ad attempts: Post-it