CRITIQUING MY VERY FIRST ADS: APPLE IPOD TOUCH

I found an old notebook from when I was 16 that includes some of the very first ads I ever came up with. Rather than burning the notebook so nobody finds out how bad they are, I'm making a series of posts where I set them free. Then, tear them to shreds with my words.

ipodtouchad.jpg

CONCEPT

It's been done. But this isn't a horrible concept. It may be your drawing-while-blindfolded art skills that made the second hand come from an angle that couldn't be the sky, but it kinda works. Makes it feel like it's a take on The Creation of Adam, but it's really just multiple zombies... er people who want to touch the device. Keep pushing it.

ART

If the right hand is supposed to be God, he shouldn't be using what looks like his middle finger. 

COPY

Two headlines. Both are absolute crap. In this case, you'd be better off not having a headline at all. Just put the apple logo with the name of the device. It says more without saying a word. You could be a very skilled copywriter as long as you don't write actual copy. That is if you find an art director. Because again, holy shit.

 

Laugh at my other old ad attempts: Post-itStarbucksLas Vegas CVA, Axe